Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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