i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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