i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
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It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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