This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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