i would punch a child for taco bell
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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