Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
