So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
