State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
