How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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