I look better un-naked...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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