You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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