can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
