no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
and you fell through a lawn chair
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
