I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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