Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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