i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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