the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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