dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
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