We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
