WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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