No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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