I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
