i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
