I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
