Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize