i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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