so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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