Got a toothbrush?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
