I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
