Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
