Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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