The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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