Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
