do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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