rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the day after is always just damage control
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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