I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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