I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
