I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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