On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize