my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
