I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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