can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize