there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My vagina is very pro this idea
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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