I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
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MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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