Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
