so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
