He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
