if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize