Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
