Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
