I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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