I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize