I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There's always time for handjobs
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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