now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You were trust falling into bushes
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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