I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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