Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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