That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
