I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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