This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
