is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
