chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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