it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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