bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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